Welcome

My name is Cerre, like Sarah but Sar-E. At least that is how I grew up explaining it. Now, I say…no not like the iPhone Siri but Saaari. My mother describes me as an eccentric and my childhood friends called me the weird one. I loved to dress up, impersonate old Hollywood actors and was fascinated by Poe, Shakespeare and Vlad the Impaler. I had no issues with being myself.  I’ve always loved movement in all forms of dance, cheerleading and martial arts. I went to an all girls boarding school focused on liberal arts, followed by almost all male technical college, The United States Air Force Academy. My mother says that was the most eccentric thing I ever did. Martial Arts gave me the building blocks to exist in the military and an introduction into meditation. Boarding school gave me independence and adaptability. The Air Force Academy broke me like a wild mustang. I had tools to succeed on paper in terms of grades, problem solving and leadership potential. However, I couldn’t thrive. I wasn’t myself. Being myself was not conducive to being a respectable officer. I went to pilot training where I was warned that most ‘females wash out’ or fail training. Once getting through that, my mentors (males) warned me not to be ‘that girl.’ Basically, watch my behavior at work and outside of work. A woman on a flying crew ‘brings trouble’ unless she is asexual. Meanwhile, don’t be sensitive to sexist or lewd commentary which would be unacceptable in pretty much any other career field. I was the only woman pilot in the squadron for months and just before the second showed up, my co-workers tried to pit me against her. I vowed then, to never say a bad word or show any sort of discourse with another woman pilot…at least not in public. Living under all these confines only lasted a few years before I started to break down. It got dark. Through the support of my husband, rediscovery of my love of horses and yoga, I finally found balance. After 10 years of flying and navigating a 90% male career field, I finally feel like I am getting the hang of balancing my femininity and my personal perspective with my less diverse work environment. Learning to view my gender as valuable in the office instead of as a distracting hindrance helped liberate me and restore my internal balance. Now I value letting the good times roll and being who I am while respecting hard work. Just when I found my footing, my husband and I decided to have a baby. Now I face all new challenges with figuring out how not to be useless to a flying squadron while in my delicate condition. I don’t promise to help change anyone’s lives but I might provide some surprisingly relatable anecdotes and helpful hints for maintaining balance in this tumultuous world.