Danger Zone
I refuse to believe that I am naming this post with a Top Gun reference but there it is friends. My very mature, respectable colleagues love to make fun at my pregnant expense and when they told me I should probably start exclusively teleworking because I’m in the “DANGER ZONE,” all I could think of was taking a highway to said destination. I never cared much for Top Gun, I always preferred Hot Shots. However, I spent two summers going to Paramount Carowinds Theme park with friends and cousins almost for the sole purpose of riding the Top Gun ride over and over. They played the soundtrack to the movie on repeat as we sweated it out with hordes of other teens to enjoy one of the newest attractions in the Carolinas. Mostly, our trips to the park were a side shoot from our Fireworks runs across the border.
I think about those completely carefree summers with such fondness and smidge of resentment. I miss those kids but am annoyed by how blissfully unaware they were during those endless summers. Now, we enter into parenthood. Those carefree kids’ are someone else and their actions will surely cause us nothing but worry and anxiety. For example, those kids better be driving safely and not tormenting the police as they attempt to sneak illegal fireworks back into the state of North Carolina.
My responsibilities as an officer and a pilot grew beyond anything that kid could ever comprehend. Responsible for an aircraft, the lives of people on the aircraft, the personal and professional growth of individuals looking to me for advice, guidance and generally to keep them out of trouble. Now adding a new layer of parenthood to that responsibility is daunting. I am theoretically days away from giving birth and still don’t know what that responsibility will feel like or what’s about to happen. I am at the highest point of that roller-coaster waiting for the brakes to release.
I am a prepper. Not a doomsday prepper but I like to feel in control, I research and make lists. In my last week, I’ve taken the advice of many people on how to “prep for baby”
1. Pack a bag
2. Make freezer meals
3. Have post-partum recovery supplies
4. Write a birth plan
5. Sit on an exercise ball
6. Eat healthy
7. Walk
8. Meditate
9. Listen to Positive Birth Stories
10. Get as much rest as possible
People are asking if we are ready. Some people simply mean to inquire if the baby has clean sheets on a bassinet. Others ask with an intense stare in the eyes because they know what we don’t about those first few weeks with a newborn. We respond with a number of things, usually “ready as we’ll ever be.” However what I really want to express is that we wanted this, we asked for it. It took us so long to get to this point, we feel more like “finally.” We are ready to feel unprepared, overwhelmed, in over our heads and out of our league. We’re ready to let a babe ruin our plans and our linens. Maybe when I’m in labor I’ll say otherwise, but we aren’t taking anything for granted and our grateful for this whole process.
Luckily, I feel great. I keep moving and keep trying to stay positive. Last night I had what may have been a contraction and I thought, ‘not now, I am tired, and a little scared.’ However, this morning after completing this flow, I am feeling confident and strong again. An infinite number of women complete this journey, surely mine will be no more or less difficult than anyone else’s. I will stay positive but mostly patient. I may be on a highway to the danger zone but I am in no rush to get off.
